You can now make choices and be open to opportunities that you may not have considered before divorce. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends.  Stay active and involved in your community.  Join a church group, or a gardening or book club.  Start volunteering at your local food banks or museums. Find your passion.  It is not too late to live your best life!

Take time to grieve:

Do not be afraid to allow yourself to feel and accept all the feelings you are experiencing. Divorce is a vulnerable and emotional rollercoaster, and it does not just stop once the divorce is finalized. You have to get used to a new normal; allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come with this change. Embracing all the emotions will bring you one step closer to accepting them, which brings you one step closer to emotional recovery. 

Use your resources:

 As unfortunate as divorce is, many people experience it. Fortunately for you, many divorced individuals have created resources to help, such as journals, support groups, and self-help books. If reading self-help books gives you a grasp on what you are experiencing and feeling, read them! If talking to friends and family is more your style, do it! If visiting a therapist and having a licensed professional in your corner is more beneficial for you, set up an appointment! Do not be afraid to reach out and use these resources when you feel you need them, they are there to help.

Find yourself again:

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” – Henry David Thoreau 

You may be a different person on the day you got married compared to the day your divorce is finalized. Post-divorce is difficult and can be extremely confusing. You may often ask yourself, “Who am I?” Following your divorce, it is completely normal to question your sense of self. Take some time to find out who you are again. You get the opportunity to experience life in a new light; take advantage of it. Make a list and try all the restaurants you have been dying to try, but your ex hated. Try a new workout regimen. Travel to places you have never been before. The world is your oyster!

We hope you found these tips valuable and informative. If you have questions about divorce or any other legal matter, schedule a confidential consultation with one of our attorneys by clicking here or calling us at 210-368-9708.

The post Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

A high-asset divorce can be among the most complex family law matters. It is important that knowledgeable and qualified experts are consulted to protect your assets, interests, and rights. Forensic accountants, professional appraisers, financial and wealth managers, tax consultants, pension valuation experts, and business evaluators are just some of the qualified professionals that your attorney could bring in to help with your case. Many of these experts will not only advise you on the next steps or ensure equitable distribution, but as an expert, their expertise will hold up in court. Below is a quick description of these qualified experts and the role they may play in your case.

Forensic Accountants

A forensic accountant will dive into the financials within your marriage, seeking information that can be used in court. Some of the information they may uncover includes income, tax returns, assets, bank statements, or credit card statements.

Professional Appraisers

A professional appraiser will conduct an assessment regarding the value of any marital estate, including real estate and personal property. This ensures the party receives their fair share in the divorce settlement, backed by expert evidence.

Financial and Wealth Managers

With all the changes divorce entails, especially financially, a wealth manager will give you advice on financial planning and investment management. Within financial planning, they will help you articulate a plan regarding your spending needs in the present or future. With investment management, they will help you articulate a long-term goal regarding your investments and how you can achieve that goal. 

Tax Consultants

A tax consultant will advise and help manage tax issues in relation to your divorce, such as the division of assets. 

Pension Valuation Experts

A pension value expert will evaluate and divide your pension (your retirement plan) in a just and equitable manner. These experts are impartial and will provide their expert opinion, with the goal of an unbiased and fair division.

Business Evaluators

If you or your ex, or soon-to-be ex, own a business or business interest, a business evaluator will determine the value and ensure equitable distribution of these assets. 

If you have questions about a high asset divorce or any other legal matter, schedule a confidential consultation with one of our attorneys by clicking here or calling us at 210-368-9708.

The post Experts In A High Asset Divorce appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

Divorce Mistake #1: Forcing The Kids To Take Sides

It is a painful time – you are angry and just want to hurt your spouse, but never, ever use your kids as pawns in the process. The best thing you can do for them is to remind them that both parents love them and will be there for them, no matter what happens. Resist the urge to badmouth your soon-to-be-ex in front of your kids, no matter what they’ve done.

Divorce Mistake #2: Failure To Develop A Parenting Plan

Once your divorce is final, your relationship with your ex will change — sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The more specific you can be with the start and end times for your kids’ parenting time, vacations, holidays, etc., the easier it will be on them because they will have some routine when the rest of their lives have been disrupted.

Divorce Mistake #3: Jumping Into A New Relationship

Divorce is one of the most stressful and isolating experiences you can go through.  It makes sense to seek the comfort, emotional connection, and fun distraction that a new relationship offers, but please, refrain. You are not ready to give another person what they deserve. Your kids will be confused by you bringing a new “parent” into the picture. You need time to recover and reflect before jumping into a new relationship. Avoid these mistakes and take some time to rebuild your sense of self and define yourself apart from your ex.

We hope you found these tips valuable and informative. We want you to avoid these common mistakes when getting divorced. 

If you have questions about divorce or any other legal matter, call us at 210-368-9708.  We are here to help!

The post Divorce Mistakes To Avoid: Family Edition appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

Medical Benefits Program

The medical benefits program available to active-duty service members, retirees, and family members is called TRICARE. After a divorce, a service member’s children continue to qualify for TRICARE. Unfortunately for civilian spouses, unless you meet some pretty stringent requirements, you will no longer qualify once you are divorced. You get to keep your TRICARE coverage only if all the following things are true:

• You do not qualify for health insurance through your own employment.
• You have not remarried.
• You meet the requirements of the 20/20/20 rule, meaning that you were married for at least 20 years, your spouse has at least 20 years of military service, and there was at least a 20-year overlap between those two time periods. (Lesser benefits are available to spouses who meet a 20/20/15 rule, meaning the overlap was at least 15 years.)

Military Pension

“My wife can’t get a share of my pension. We have not been married ten years during my service.”  

This is incorrect.  There is no minimum number of years for divisibility of the military pension. The so-called “10/10 Rule” (or 10-Year Rule) is a source of confusion for many individuals when dealing with a military divorce. The 10-Year Rule only affects how the former spouse receives the share of military retirement pay to which he or she is entitled because of a divorce. 

The first “10” of the 10/10 Rule requires a couple to have been married for at least ten years. The second “10” requires the military spouse to have served at least 10 years of service creditable towards retirement during the marriage. If both these conditions are met, then the Defense Finance and Accounting Services (DFAS) may directly pay a former spouse his or her share of military retirement pay. 

If the 10-Year Rule is not met, then the military spouse must provide the former spouse his or her share directly, which could be done by mailing a check, setting up an allotment or automatic payment, or some similar method.

How Remarrying Affects Benefits

How does remarrying affect the benefits awarded to you in a military divorce? First, let’s start with the retirement pay.  That would not be affected by your remarriage, as it is considered a split of marital property and is stated in your divorce decree.  

If your ex-spouse passes away, and you are covered by the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) as a “former spouse,” your benefits through SBP would stop if you remarried prior to age 55.  If that marriage ends due to death or divorce, your SBP benefits would restart.  You will lose military health care benefits permanently if you remarry.  

Finally, base privileges including the commissary, exchange and recreational facilities would be terminated upon remarriage, but could be reinstated in the event the marriage ends. 

If you have questions or need assistance with a matter involving military benefits as they apply to family law, call us today at 210-368-9708 to schedule a consultation.

The post Military Benefits in Family Law Cases appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

The four types of child support available in Texas are current child support, medical child support, retroactive child support, and temporary child support. A further break down of the different types, so that you can better understand which fits your situation, follows:

• Current child support is an obligation imposed on a parent to support his child for a period of time following the entry of a final judgment
• Medical child support is a lump-sum payment or series of periodic payments made to cover the child’s medical expenses, including health-insurance coverage
• Retroactive child support is a repayment of monies spent for the care of the child in the past
• Temporary child support is awarded to support the child until a final judgment is entered.

Child Support Guidelines

The Texas Family Code provides guidelines for all aspects of child support. Guideline child support is calculated on the first $11,700.00 the parent earns each month unless there is a reason to deviate from the guidelines. If the parent’s monthly net resources are $11,700.00 or less, the amount of child support is calculated as a percentage of that amount. If there is only one child, child support would be 20% of the parent’s net resources. If there is more than one child, or there are children in different households, the percentages change.

If the parent’s monthly net resources are over this amount, the amount of child support is calculated as a percentage of the first $11,700.00 and then adjusted based on the child’s proven needs. The Attorney General’s Office adjusts the guidelines every six years. 

It’s important to remember the child support guidelines are just guidelines. To adjust the child support guidelines, it must be proven that the child’s needs exceed the presumptive amount of child support. The needs of the child are based on the child’s best interest. They include more than just life’s bare necessities, but they do not turn on the parents’ ability to pay or the family lifestyle.

Calculating the net resources of a parent for child support can be difficult at times. The court must determine the sum of all resources available on an annual basis. Some of the resources to consider include wages, bonuses, commissions, severance or retirement pay, social security and disability benefits, alimony, rental income, child support, interest income, capital gains, gifts, and prizes. 

Sometimes, a parent will intentionally become under- or unemployed to avoid paying child support. The court must be shown that the child support-avoiding parent is making significantly less than he or she made in the past and that the parent has chosen to be under or unemployed. In Texas, child support is taken from unemployment benefits through wage withholding. Up to 50% of unemployment earnings can be withheld to satisfy current monthly child support obligations.

The Office of the Attorney General of Texas assists parents with child support. Child support payments should be made to the state disbursement unit. The Attorney General’s office will keep track of the child support payments, disburse the child support payments, modify the child support payments, and enforce the child support orders. Child support withholding orders are signed at the same time as the final order. Withholding orders are helpful because the child support payments can be pulled directly from the parent’s paycheck. This helps ensure that payments are made on time and in the correct amount.

Child Support for Adult Children

Child support may be available for adult disabled children. When determining the amount of child support, the court must consider the child’s existing and future needs, the parent’s willingness to pay or provide for care or supervision, the parents’ financial resources, and other financial resources.

Medical child support is in addition to the amount a parent is required to pay for child support under the guidelines. A parent may be ordered to provide health insurance for a child at a “reasonable cost.” The cost of health insurance coverage is reasonable if it does not exceed 9% of the parent’s annual resources. Medical child support also includes the cost of unreimbursed medical expenses, dental and vision. These further medical expenses are typically split between the parents but can be adjusted by the court.

Retroactive child support is payment for prior months where no child support was paid. Retroactive child support can be awarded at the discretion of the judge and can typically go back as much as four years.

If you have questions or need assistance with a matter involving child support, call us today at 210-368-9708 or click here to schedule a consultation. Tessmer Law Firm, PLLC are your San Antonio attorneys putting families first!

The post What You Should Know About Child Support in Texas appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

What has changed?

• They make excuses for injuries
• Their personality has changed. They used to be so confident, now they have such low self-esteem
• They have become reserved and distant
• They are constantly checking in with their partner
• They never really have access to money, or money on hand
• They seem overly worried about pleasing their partner
• They seem to be cutting off everyone from their life: friends, family, close co-workers
• They’ve been absent at or late to work, school, or social outings for no clear reason
• They’re wearing clothes that don’t fit the season, such as long sleeves in summer to maybe cover bruises
• They have been showing signs of fear, anxiety, or nervousness when they are away from their partner
• They refer to their partner as jealous, moody, having a bad temper, etc.

How can I help?

It’s important to approach them delicately and in private. Do not expect them to be super vocal at first, they may even deny it. All you can do is be a friend and offer your support should they need it, as well as provide them with guidance on who to contact. Men and women alike can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). Help is available 24/7 in over 170 languages and all calls are anonymous. Read more here.

Tessmer Law Firm, PLLC is assisting clients through separation, divorce, and more. To schedule a consultation click here or call 210-368-9708.

The post Someone I Know Is Being Abused appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

Domestic abuse is more than just physical. There can be psychological abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse (yes, you can be sexually abused and even raped by your significant other), financial abuse, and emotional abuse.

Am I being abused?

Am I being sexually abused?

• Rape, attempted rape or sexual assault
• Inappropriate touching anywhere
• Masturbation of either or both parties without consent
• Sexual penetration or attempted penetration of the vagina, anus or mouth without consent
• Any sexual activity that the person lacks the capacity to consent to
• Inappropriate looking, sexual teasing or suggestive commentary, or sexual harassment
• Sexual photography or forced use of pornography or witnessing of sexual acts
• Indecent exposure

Am I being psychologically or emotionally abused?

• They force social isolation
  • They prevent you from accessing services, educational and social opportunities or seeing friends
• They remove mobility or communication aids
• They intentionally leave you unattended when you need help
• They prevent you from meeting your religious or cultural needs
• They prevent your from expressing your opinion
• They fail to respect your privacy
• They prevent your from mental stimulation, such as engaging in meaningful occupation or activities
• They use tactics of intimidation, coercion, harassment, threats, humiliation, bullying, as well as swearing or verbal abuse
• They address you in a patronizing or infantilizing way
• They threaten harm or abandonment
• They cyber bully you via text or social media

Am I being financially or materially abused?

• They steal your money or possessions
• They prevent you from accessing your own money, benefits or assets
• They arrange for less care than is needed to save money to maximize inheritance
• They deny assistance to manage/monitor financial affairs
• They deny assistance to access benefits
• They misuse personal allowance in a care home
• They misuse benefits or direct payments in a family home
• The use false representation, using your bank account, cards or documents
• They exploit your money or assets, e.g., unauthorized use of a car
• They misuse a power of attorney, deputy, appointeeship or other legal authority

Help is available if you or someone you know needs it. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit the Abuse and Domestic Violence Resource Page. Tessmer Law Firm, PLLC is assisting clients through separation, divorce, and more. To schedule a consultation click here or call 210-368-9708.

The post Domestic Violence: Types Of Abuse appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

Couples in Texas that want to live apart have only one legal remedy – divorce.

If you want to split up and live apart, but not divorce, you can voluntarily decide on a parenting plan for your children. A Suit Affecting the Parent-Child Relationship (SAPCR) can be filed that outlines the rights and responsibilities of each parent. A SAPCR is not a Google-and-do-it-yourself document. You will want an experienced family law attorney to draft it for you.

But that only addresses legal issues with your children. What do you do to protect your property rights? How do you legally divide your finances, your debts, etc.?

It is possible to work out an informal separation agreement.

But, because the state of Texas does not recognize separation as legal, it limits your protections. Your ability to enforce the agreement if your spouse decides to disagree could be limited, too.

Another way to divide community property if you want to separate is with a “Partition and Exchange Agreement.” This is sometimes called a “Post-Nuptial Agreement.”  This allows a couple to transfer interest in marital property to one spouse so that it becomes that spouse’s separate property. This type of agreement must be signed by both parties and recorded in the deeds records of the county where the property is located.

A Post-Nuptial Agreement can stay in effect for a lifetime, and all the while, the parties remain legally married. If at some point you decide to divorce, the property that has already been partitioned stays separate property. The court cannot change it back to community property or take it away from you and give it to your spouse.

A problem that could come up is if you decide to reconcile, but you do not undo the agreement. If you later decide to divorce, or if your spouse dies, the Post-Nuptial Agreement is still in effect. You may be surprised to learn that you do not have rights to certain property that you would, had you dissolved the Post-Nuptial Agreement.

All in all, the best legal way to separate in Texas is to file for divorce.

Soon after filing for divorce, there is a hearing to establish Temporary Orders. At this hearing, you can petition the court to:

• Establish child custody and visitation arrangements;
• Establish child support and/or spousal support payments;
• Force a spouse to move out of the family home;
• Order either spouse not to sell any valuable assets; and
• Give possession of the family home or vehicle to one spouse.

Once Temporary Orders are in place, a divorcing couple can “live on” the orders for an indefinite period of time.

If you are thinking about separation or divorce, call us for a consultation at 210-368-9708. Our experienced Attorneys can tell you of your rights under the law and help you protect yourself, your children, and your assets.

The post Separation V. Divorce In Texas appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

Before your divorce, you may have insurance policies, a Will or Power of Attorney that benefit the other spouse, or that names the other spouse as an executor. Before filing for divorce, you may want to make changes. Sometimes changes are prohibited after a divorce is filed, so check with your attorney. You may not want your soon-to-be-ex-spouse to have powers under a health care or general power of attorney — especially not when there is a lot of conflict and life/death decisions are at stake.

During your divorce, an Estate Plan can be a relevant part of a property settlement agreement. Sometimes, spouses agree to create trusts for each other or have will provisions that benefit the other spouse — even after the divorce. For example, the couple may agree to set aside funds in a trust to pay for a spouse to go back to school in order to re-enter the workplace. If the spouse decides not to go back to school for some reason, then that money is not lost. It can revert back to the first spouse or be used for other purposes.

Also, it is important for your attorney to review Estate Planning documents created before the divorce, because you may have taken action that limits what you can do with certain property during a divorce.

After the divorce, you will want to revise your Wills, etc. In most states, former spouses are automatically excluded from serving as trustees or estate administrators or from receiving under your Will. Your Will should be in compliance with what you agree to in your divorce. We recommend that all of our recently divorced clients review and revise their Will and Estate Plans.

Tessmer Law Firm, P.L.L.C. can assist you with a complete Estate Plan suited to your individual needs. Contact us today for a consultation at 210-368-9708. Remember, we are your San Antonio attorneys putting families first!

The post Estate Planning Before, During and After a “Gray” Divorce appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.

The post Divorce & Social Security appeared first on Tessmer Law Firm.