Here at Tessmer Law Firm, we understand how important it is to be aware of toxic behavior within relationships. We want to make sure you are equipped with all the tools to spot all the red flags, which is why we are giving you SIX MORE!
1. They Don’t Want to Talk About Their Past Relationships At All
Everything about past relationships does not have to be shared in the new relationship, but communicating your experiences is essential to truly get to know your partner. If your partner is a completely closed book and refuses to discuss their past relationships altogether, this raises concern that there could be something they are hiding, or that they lack the emotional maturity to share problems in their life. This also raises concern that they will not want to hear about your past experiences, which can cause issues with identifying triggers and understanding what you have been through prior to the relationship.
2. Decisions That Are Not Made Together
Each decision you make together as a couple can bring you closer to each other. It deepens the connection and increases the level of trust between you. If your partner takes your opinions for granted and makes decisions without discussing them, there needs to be a conversation where boundaries are clearly expressed.
If your partner pushes back and insists that they do not need to include you, this can become a toxic relationship where your wants and needs are routinely disregarded.
3. Spending Way Too Much Time Apart
Alone time is important for everyone to grow as an individual and to avoid codependence, but if you find yourself canceling plans because they decided to go out with their friends without you, or if you go days at a time without hearing from them, the relationship could be in trouble.
Have conversations with your partner about how much time you would like to spend together and try to make time for each other. Run errands together, go on a double date, or create a schedule that works for both of you. If your partner does not make an effort to prioritize time with you, it’s time to ask how much value they place on you and your relationship.
4. They Are Jealous of Your Family and Friends
Typically, we can dismiss jealousy on our own, but unhealthy jealous behavior happens when we indulge that feeling and act impulsively from a place of suspicion and insecurity and jeopardize the very relationship, we’re most afraid to lose.
If your partner has rules about who you can talk to, requires you to check in with them regularly, expects you to spend all of your time with them, or monitors your texts, calls, and emails, there needs to be a serious conversation where healthy boundaries are set. This can quickly spiral into a dangerous situation where you are controlled by your partner and isolated from friends and family.
5. Excuses
If your partner is constantly late for dates, forgets important things, or doesn’t do what is needed and makes excuses for their behavior, be careful. They could have a fear of confrontation that causes them to avoid talking about their mistakes due to fearing criticism, which can potentially be resolved with therapy.
On the other hand, they could be avoiding responsibility and trying to make you take the blame for their actions. If your partner thinks they are always right and tries to intimidate you to defend their actions, they could be showing signs of toxic behavior that needs to be addressed immediately.
6. Secrets
Everyone has the right to privacy in any relationship, and there are some things that are better off unsaid, but if you discover that your partner has kept important information hidden from you, it can be devastating to discover the truth. Secrets impede communication between partners and can wear away mental and physical health and negatively affect the ability to be close and connected.
We hope you found these tips valuable and informative. If you have questions about divorce, custody, or any other legal matter, schedule a confidential consultation with one of our attorneys by clicking here or calling us at 210-368-9708.