28 Apr Domestic Violence Warning Signs
WARNING SIGN #9: A FIGHTER, NOT A LOVER:
The words ‘abuse’ and ‘relationship violence’ immediately conjure up mental images of physical fights, bruises, cuts, broken furniture, etc. Tangible violence is recognized when we see it; we can identify it when we hear it directed at someone. However, aggressive persons never end the first date by punching you in the face. These behaviors manifest over time. Clearly, acts of aggression toward animals or children would be considered ‘red flags.” However, the abuser may act out his aggressions in other ways that will indicate his abusive personality. Aggressive individuals often have little patience, can be triggered into violent rages by minor frustrations, have a tendency to throw, smash, or destroy objects that irritate them. Aggressive behaviors will likely present in regards to issues of intimacy. For example, he may pressure you to engage in acts that make you uncomfortable or use ‘playful force’ during sex. He thoroughly enjoys being in control and likes it when you play the helpless victim. Unless all other areas of the relationship are in balance, you may be dealing with a potential abuser.