Blog | Helpful Tessmer Tips | Tessmer Law Firm
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Tessmer Tips / 11.11.2014

Divorcing Mom Tip #10: When it is all said and done, Life is not over. Nobody enters a marriage believing that one day they’ll end up divorced. You are going to go through an adjustment, and that is going to take some time. The good news is that the end of your marriage does not mean the end of your life! Any woman, from her 20s to her 80s, can have a fresh start and live happily ever after. How awesome is that? By all means, mourn the loss of your relationship. That is only natural. But then, look forward...

Tessmer Tips / 11.11.2014

Divorcing Mom Tip #9: Pit-Bull or Softie? You have hired an attorney because you need someone experienced in wading through the legal system and all of its lingo and paperwork. It is so important to hire someone you feel comfortable with and whose desire is for you to have a favorable outcome. You may believe you need a very aggressive lawyer, but that could mean you have someone who unnecessarily ups your costs and your anger by fanning the flames in a case that is already emotional and contentious. In contrast, if you hire a lawyer too soft-hearted, you may...

Tessmer Tips / 11.11.2014

Divorcing Mom Tip #8: Do not engage. Now, let’s tie together tips #7 and #4. You are documenting, documenting, documenting. Guess what? He very well may be doing the same thing. You already have stopped participating in “text wars” (you did stop that...

Tessmer Tips / 11.11.2014

Divorcing Mom Tip #7: Keep A Record. Remember how we said “document, document, document”? Keep a journal of all conversations, incidents, etc. between you and your estranged spouse and anything negative that happens between him and the children. Even if it is just a spiral notebook where you write down notes with the date each day. Say your spouse emailed you the time and place of your son's soccer game, but when you got there no one was around...

Tessmer Tips / 11.11.2014

Divorcing Mom Tip #6: Another Word on Boundaries. If your divorce has been contentious you may want to exchange the children somewhere neutral. This is in your children's best interests (and yours) in terms of peace of mind and safety. A local fast food restaurant or grocery store parking lot can be a great neutral choice for divorced parents, versus choosing your individual homes where a struggle of power and turf can take place. It may be wise to have a friend or relative accompany you to the exchange. In cases where there has been physical abuse, have the exchange...

Tessmer Tips / 11.11.2014

Divorcing Mom Tip #5: Follow your motherly instincts. Hating your estranged spouse’s behavior is understandable. If you are a mom the last thing you want to witness is seeing your children hurt. That tends to make our mother bear instincts rise up and we become fiercely protective of our children's health and safety. If your husband has shown patterns of abuse you should seek legal advice to protect yourself and your children immediately. You may need a restraining order. You may need to take steps to prevent your husband from having access to the house, or to have supervised visitation...