Domestic Violence – Summing it Up

For the past two weeks, we have been discussing the subject of domestic violence: what it is, how to recognize it and where to go for help.  Today, let’s sum it up:   Domestic abuse does not have to be physical.  Emotional or psychological abuse is just as devastating to a victim. Be alert for […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #9: A FIGHTER, NOT A LOVER:   The words ‘abuse’ and ‘relationship violence’ immediately conjure up mental images of physical fights, bruises, cuts, broken furniture, etc. Tangible violence is recognized when we see it; we can identify it when we hear it directed at someone. However, aggressive persons never end the first date […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #8: “I’M JUST SAYIN’”:   He is always joking around, but his “jokes” are filled with malicious sarcasm and condescending undertones. Sometimes his humor seems innocent and just poorly timed; at other times his hostility is unmistakably purposeful. When he is not poking fun at others, his direct conversations will likely be condescending, […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #7: THIN SKIN:   Abusers tend to have low self-esteem, so they are easily upset or insulted. They tend to make a big deal out of nothing, focus on insignificant details or comments, and assume that any difference of opinion is a direct personal attack.  Abusers are highly inpatient, excessively critical of others, […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #6: THE LONE WOLF:   At first, it might appear that he really enjoys spending time alone with you, or that he is just uncomfortable around others.  Or maybe it is just that he loves being one with nature; but eventually you will want to get out and do something. The abuser’s insistence […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #5: ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER:   An abuser generally has an attitude of self-righteousness, truly believes that he is better than everyone else, and will have no misgivings over telling you this. The abuser will intentionally attack others’ self-esteem, seeking to make them feel bad about themselves, and does […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #4: IT’S NOT HIS FAULT:   What do you know about his childhood? Did he experience abuse or neglect? If so, do these experiences continue to have a negative impact him? Having experienced an abusive childhood is not necessarily a deal-breaker, but if he uses his history of abuse as an excuse for […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #3: THE GREEN MONSTER:   At first, the jealous behavior doesn’t seem excessive, so there is no immediate red flag warning. You may notice he is uncomfortable with you talking to other men or participating in activities without him, but you think his response is “sweet,” or is proof of his devotion to […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #2: LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE:   Many of us tell a “white lie” in the beginning stages of a relationship. Even in healthy relationships, it is common for one to emphasize their positive qualities and minimize any shortcomings to appear more likable. However, the abuser is blatantly deceptive about himself.  Because it […]

Domestic Violence Warning Signs

WARNING SIGN #1: TOO MUCH TOO SOON:   An abuser will claim to be head over heels for you, having fallen in love “at first sight” and believe you are soul mates. He may compare you to his ex, claiming that he has never loved anyone as much as he loves you. He might pressure […]